Check-in: My current season of wellness
I know I said my next post would be on settling for less than what we deserve, but I don’t think that’s the post I’m to write now. I feel I need to share with you my battle this week to remain spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy in the midst of this busy season at work.
As most of you know, I’m an auditor in a public accounting firm here in the Cayman Islands and am in my third year full-time with the firm. So, in the public accounting work here in Cayman, January to March is our busiest months of work (with April to June being the second busiest months). Many individuals work 12+ hours days, come in on the weekend, and live and breathe work. It’s not because we always choose to or want to all the time, but it’s because we want to give our clients the best service possible and meet their March 31 or June 30 deadlines. However, even though it’s only for 3-6 months, busy season can be very taxing on our health. We sleep less, get quick meals, drink lots of coffee, work more than we relax and hang with family, and easily get mentally stressed over deadlines. Busyness and Chaos take over, and our health can sometimes easily diminish if we aren’t taking measures to remain well.
For me personally, it’s been busy with work and activities outside of work. Physically, I haven’t slept as much which affects my mood, workouts, desire to do anything, and energy levels. Mentally, I’ve had to battle discouraging thoughts and feelings of just wanting to give up. Emotionally, let’s not even go there haha. The struggle is real. I’ve been happy, sad; encouraged, discouraged; hopeful, doubtful; and weary, strong. And Spiritually? It’s been hard, but I must say it’s probably been one of the most refining, challenging, and life-transforming journeys I’ve gone on. See, when things are busy or difficult, we do one or both of the following: 1) turn to God in desperation or 2) forget about God in chaos. For the first, we understand that we don’t have the power to change the situation or provide ourselves comfort/encouragement, so we turn to the one who is we believe is Omnipotent, Omniscient, and ABLE to help us through. For the second, we are so focused on getting our to-do-lists done, that spending time with God and seeking Him easily gets forgotten. And I confess, I have done both of the above in various situations and seasons in my life, and I’m sure you all have too.
However, over the last few months, I have found myself so desperate for God that I have to run to Him and seek Him, because without His comfort and words, I literally wouldn’t have been able to go on. I just came to my strength’s end between working more hours, increasing weights at the gym, being involved in a bunch of activities, etc. It all has led me to fall to my knees each morning with Jesus and seek Him for comfort, guidance, hope, joy, peace, contentment, and strength. And you know what has happened? I have learned what it means to truly stand on the promises of God and the true inheritance I receive as His child. There have been times I’ve been so doubtful and so weary, that I would wrestle with God and tell Him “I’m done. I’m done giving my whole being to all I do, for it feels like there’s no light at the end of this tunnel.” But something happened each time, after each cry: hope set in. Whenever I would feel unable to make it through, I would turn to various portions of God’s Word and hold fast with a closed grip, to that Truth. I would stand on the promises of God. Promises such as:
“I am no longer a slave to fear, for I am a child of God” (Romans 8:15)
“God will never leave me or forsake me” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
“He will give me strength when I am weary” (Isaiah 40:29)
“Nothing is impossible for God and for me if I ask with faith and in accordance with his will” (Luke 1:37, John 14:13)
“When I was in my mother’s womb, God desired faithfulness from me, and created me for a great purpose” (Psalm 139, Psalm 51:6, Jeremiah 29:11)
“No weapon formed against me shall ever prosper, for Jesus is victorious over any plan of the enemy” (Isaiah 54:17, 1 Corinthians 15:57)
It’s been standing on these promises and strengthening myself spiritually that has kept me going, that has moved me past fear and discouragement, to trust and hope. Each day I have to choose to trust the One who remains constant in the midst of inconsistent days and chaos. Each day I have to choose to trust that God has unfailing love for me and will use everything for His glory.
What’s my point with all of this? Well, of course I believe that we can exercise, say positive things to ourselves, and take walks to handle our stress to help keep us in balance. However, the most important area of health and wellness to look after in hard or easy times is our soul. It is from this place we live, move and have our being. It is in our soul where voids constantly crack open, and can only be sealed and erased by the true void healer – Jesus. We must take care of our bodies, minds, and emotions of course, but we must never neglect our soul and relationship with God. For out of this relationship, true health and wellness is born.
My health journey in June 2013 started with Jesus asking me, “Do you want to be made well?” And He asks me this question now, and will continue to ask me this question for the rest of my life. For until I see Him face to face, He will constantly be making me well and making me more like Him. And although that can feel taxing and a long journey ahead, I’m excited about it because it means I will continue to become the daughter of God I was fashioned to be when He originally thought of creating me.
So my friends, I leave you now after a busy week and weekend, but I don’t leave you hopeless or fearful. Instead, I leave you with much hope standing on the promise that Jesus is for me, loves me, and will work all things out for his good, my good, and ultimately His honor and glory – the ultimate goal of being made well.
