Check in: an invitation to a life made full.
I’m a busy gal. I work in Auditing, sing on my Church’s worship team, do Crossfit most days of the week, sit on the Board with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, Volunteer Staff with InterVarsity, Wednesday night Young adult bible study at my house, women’s bible study every other week, date nights with husband, and church service on Sundays. And somehow in the midst of all that, have quiet time with Jesus each day, cook most of our daily meals, visit family and friends, and sleep. Yet because of that busy schedule, I do struggle to visit all my family members, hang out with all my friends, and honestly, just rest and be still.
There are some days I can persevere and push pass the exhaustion or mental busyness, but honestly, I’m not sure if today’s that day. This whole past week I’ve prayed a lot about my current state of busyness and have realized that I am just burnt out. Busy season from January to March kicked my butt and brain, and I just don’t have it in me to keep pushing through this next season of life on my own. My strength is gone, completely. My motivation is gone, completely. My desire to pursue my other passions such as health coaching, is gone completely. I am burnt out. To top it all off, I’ve wondered all week “Does what I do actually matter? Am I making a difference in the lives of those around me at work, Crossfit, church, family, friends, ministry?” All of my loved ones and friends reading this, will say “Yes! You are” and deep down, I know they are right. However, when you are burnt out the way I am now, truth is hard to believe and hope is hard to find.
I don’t write this post as a “woe to me” invitation. I write it to be honest and say that I am done. I am done trying to do everything and do everything perfectly. I am done trying to be everything to everybody. I’m done expecting myself to always be on top, always be on my game, and never fail. I’m done with the unrealistic expectations that haunt me daily. I’m done relying on my own strength. I’m done with busyness that only leaves one dry.
Instead, I invite busyness with a purpose. I invite God to be my Strength, Deliverer, Strong Tower. I invite rest as a part of my everyday life, and not just on vacation. I invite freedom and grace to be my partners in everyday life. I invite my passions and dreams to never stop and to become a reality. I invite peace to flow through my thoughts like a river. I invite Jesus to define my identity and his calling on my everyday life. I invite love for God, others and myself. I invite thoughts of truth, love, and encouragement over myself. I invite Jesus to show me his expectations of me, instead of culture, employers, family, friends, and most of all, myself. I invite the abundant life made full that Jesus has for me, today and every day for the rest of my life.
